Nine out of ten African Americans in today’s Mississippi primary voted for Barack Obama, and with Geraldine Ferraro aboard Hillary Clinton’s sinking ship, that’s no big surprise.

First, the former vice presidential candidate and Clinton supporter won hearts and minds with this gem: “If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position… And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

Then, when it was clear she had offended virtually every African American in politics and beyond, she drove it home: “Any time anybody does anything that in any way pulls this campaign down and says, ‘Let’s address reality and the problems we’re facing in this world,’ you’re accused of being racist, so you have to shut up… Racism works in two different directions. I really think they’re attacking me because I’m white. How’s that?”

Oh boy.

Did Hillary Clinton or her top spokespersons issue an apology and ask Ferraro to step down?

“I do not agree with that,” she said today. ”It is regrettable that any of our supporters on both sides, because we’ve both had that experience, say things that kind of veer off into the personal. We ought to keep this on the issues. There are differences between us. There are differences between our approaches on health care, on energy, on our experience, on our results that we’ve produced for people. That’s what this campaign should be about.”

So here we have the formulaic, ever-predicatable Hillary Clinton Non-Apology Apology.

Voice Disagreement + Re-direct (Mention Both Sides) + Mention Health Care + Sensitive Closing = Hillary Clinton Non-Apology Apology

Notice how this particular Non-Apology Apology omitted the oft-relied upon “experience” claim.This is because, quite simply, when even Sinbad (yes, he’s alive) can debunk your supposed foreign policy experience, you’re really in deep doo doo.

Hillary has referred to her visit to Bosnia in 1996 as a dangerous mission, going so far as to say: “We used to say in the White House that if a place is too dangerous, too small or too poor, send the First Lady.”

[Insert Op-Edna fantasy press conference scenario]

Op-Edna: “Senator Clinton, if Bosnia was indeed too dangerous to send the president, why did you bring your teenage daughter Chelsea with you? And also, why would you bring Sheryl Crow and Sinbad? What did you have against A Different World?”

Senator Clinton: [insert Standard Non-Apology Apology]

Yes, then First Lady Clinton traveled to Bosnia with her teenage daughter, Sinbad, and Sheryl Crow. Not exactly an inconspicuous posse, IMHO.

Sinbad’s response is possibly the funniest thing he’s ever said in like three decades of comedy: “What kind of president would say, ‘Hey, man, I can’t go ’cause I might get shot so I’m going to send my wife…oh, and take a guitar player and a comedian with you.’”

But seriously, Sinbad is pissed.

“I never felt that I was in a dangerous position. I never felt being in a sense of peril, or ‘Oh, God, I hope I’m going to be OK when I get out of this helicopter or when I get out of his tank,’” the Jingle All the Way star said. “I think the only ‘red-phone’ moment was: ‘Do we eat here or at the next place.’” 

To Clinton spinmaster Phil Singer, this was no laughing matter. Rather than defer to the Non-Apology Apology (see above), he went straight for the Distract and Destroy tactic (perfected by George “Hey, look over there!” W. Bush).

“The sad reality of what was going on in Bosnia at the time Senator Clinton traveled there as first lady has been well documented. It appears that Sinbad’s experience in Bosnia goes back further than Senator Obama’s does. In fact, has Senator Obama ever been to Bosnia?”

WHAT??? Senator Obama didn’t even SAY anything. Come on, Phil, this guy did Houseguest. You gotta let this stuff roll of your back!

P.S. - If it appears to you that Sinbad’s experience is more substantial than Obama’s, is he now on your VP shortlist? I’m just asking… seriously.